I'm hated and it's made obvious. I've been cursed like this for life. And I can prove it but not here, not now. And I blame only myself.

Life ain't that good to some. To me, it totally sucks. Maybe it's because I'm destined for this. I'm not sure of the reason. However, the obvious fact to me is that I'm always easily hated. No matter what I do, I can't change what God already had planned for me since my birthday. But all I want to know is... Emotions swirl all around me and I'm highly confused. Am I too demanding on life? Life is supposed to be lived happily, with friends and family and loved ones or it wont be lived to it's fullest. I need advice but now I don't know who I can turn to. Don't say you can help. Don't even think because my problem needs to be solved by only one person and that's myself. I need to cross this bridge myself. I can't bring down others with me. I'm a broken heart but I'm a beating broken heart. I'll piece myself back together. I don't want to make people angry or sad. I just want to make them smile in any way I can. But it's difficult for me because I have no heck of an idea what I can say. I fear most of the time that I offend people. One stupid sentence and I end up alone. I know it's my fault. All mine. And I'm very grateful to have people like you as friends, truly I am. If everyone had some sort of special ability, I guess mine would be offending people easily. That's why I want to be alone, so I can't anger any more people. There, I've finally let it out and I feel slightly better now.

Hey readers! I've just recreated my blog. Click here to visit it! However, whenever an error arises at that blog, please visit this blog. For those that have linked my blog, please relink my Blogger instead of my LiveJournal or you could add a new link; 1 for my LiveJournal and 1 for my Blogger. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks a lot. :)


Bye,
Kanglun.

Had tuition at 9 this morning. Asked my dad to drive me to Serangoon Central so I could meet up with the others and watch them. We ate till 1150 hours + and met the CIs at the tentage area. Took a lot of photos with my handphone, Keith C's camera and Clifford's Nikkon Camera. Had to limp wherever I went. :\ They practiced till late evening, had dinner, changed and went for the observance ceremony to start. A little screw ups here and there but it was still not bad. Wow I'm so sleepy. Shall post more about today, tomorrow.





Bye,
Kanglun







You'll always be a part of me

Okay so school, started like crap. Well, no. :) Geog test, I'm sure I can pass? Then went back to class to get ready for P.E. So went down the stairs la de dum de dum. Adam and I were jogging initially. Then Jia Feng joined in. Then 3rd floor, I overestimated the height of the stairs which is like, normally does not happen to me. Then I twisted and "CRACK!" even with the surrounding noise, it was hella loud. At first I quickly sat down but no pain yet. Then the pain came. Aw crap. Miss Chua say she want to help, in the end she just stand there call me stupid. -.- Very "helpful". Miss Yap even better sia. She walk up, look at me, say something then continue walking like damn bo chap. Jia Feng chiong-ed to class to get Ethyl Chloride to numb the pain for me. Thanks Jia Feng. Then we walked down to the area near the basketball court. I sat down with Jia Feng. Then they let our classes go to their games after the briefing then all come crowd around then walk off. Buncha "caring" people eh. Then the swell was freaking big, like the bean from Action City was inside my foot. Huge. Then Mr Leong say go back home. So I did. Rest of the time of P.E. and a little of recess, I sat outside the G.O. waiting for my mother. Xin Yang and Jia Feng took turns to ice my leg but they just kept proding it with the cup of ice. -.- My mum came and we went to Serangoon Central to find a chinese physician. At first, he just used some medicine and steam my leg. Then added some cool water and ask me to dip my leg in. Then went into this small little room where he asked me to lie on my stomach. He bent my right leg and pinned it down with his own leg. I thought he was going to do intense rubbing. Guess what? He twisted it back right after saying "Relax ah, relax." Massive piercing pain. Panted a little then breathe in, breathe out, relaaaax. Whole body shivering from the pain. He sprayed some shtuff on my leg then the other guy curious curious go rub. That part was more painful than the twisting part. Then he put some brown paste on this sticky thingy and wrapped it up. My foot's all better now. Went back home, ate lunch, went back to school and did my Math Test. Maybe can pass :) Then went for NP. Of course, I just gave commands and nothing else. Then went macs. Took me more than an hour to walk there. Now back home and my ankle's swelled up again. Grr. Will be missing NDOC. Damn.




Spraining/dislocating ankles are NOT fun,
Kanglun. :\





Wish I could be by your side.

Apparently, I have no mood to post. But I shall anyway. I saw my phone this morning. 3 unread messages. They were to gather outside NP room at 7. I came to school at about 0655 hours. No one was around. I sat there, waiting and thinking. And there Ee Kiat came. He just looked at me with a blank face, walking slowly. I saw this other person. Immediately, I stood up and walked to the toilet. I came back a while later, ignoring him. Just continue sitting and thinking. I saw Gabryel coming in, so I approached him. I talked to him a little, and the rest came. Finally it was 0710 hours and Mr Lim came. We greeted him like we always would and enterred the room.  Fast fowarding to later, after his talk. We stayed in the room, listening to music, playing and talking with each other. One by one, everyone left until it was down to the usual people that stayed in the room. I totally just stoned. Then decided to get up and walk around, looking at stuff I've seen umpteen times. Frankly speaking, I was literally bored. School started and I walked to the Computer Lab 1 area and realised I've left my bag at the benches. I walked briskly and grabbed my bag. I walked to my class, step by step, inching every second.

I arrived at my class, when the morning assembly had just started. I talked to Ronald most of the time and then read my book. The first half of the day was boring, so I couldn't do anything else but just read or think of a certain someone. Recess time came and Jia Feng and I were at the gate, doing "duty". I was doing his duty while he studied for our POA test. Fast forwarding again. Recess ended, rushed back to class. Had our test and apparently, I hope there's a retest. I just can't understand Ledgers. Doing well with everything else except for this pain in the neck. Next came Chemistry, which came with a test also. I had notes written down yesterday and managed to somehow keep it in my brain until the end of the test. It was relatively alright. I'm glad. Then I handed up my POA work and left for J8. My phone battery was dead. I had to think fast. And I saw Jeremy Ow. I used his phone to call Gabryel but my efforts were in vain. I called Jie Sin instead. He said he was at Lor Liew Lian. So I went over there. They couldn't be found anywhere. I thought that they'd probably be at J8. I went to the MRT station and went to J8. I couldn't find them. I had to contact them somehow. So I went home, grabbed my spare Sony Ericsson phone and called Gabryel.

I met with them there, at KFC. We sat for quite a while then walked to the jumping area. It was too hot for comfort. We went back in while Jie Sin had to leave. Bid our goodbyes and walked inside. Went to top floor and played in Action City, as usual. Did a whole buncha stuff. It was getting late and Ashley, too, had to leave. Said bye and there were 3 left. We went back outside, to the jumping area. We jumped and did more stuff. Played with coins and lost two of them. Overall, it was still worth it. $0.40 is nothing compared to the time you can spend with your friends *MORAL!!!* I went home and got into an arguement with my mom. I'm going home too late. I'm trying my best already. Oh well. You can't blame others for your own faults. Two wrongs don't make a right.

But still, I thought of you throughout every single moment.






Regards,
Kanglun.







*Sigh* Problems, problems, problems.

29 Jul '09
Pastoral Care (1st Period) : Boring... Started to think - thought of you. :)
P.O.A. (2nd and 3rd Period) : Listened a bit. Hard to understand but could. When was free, thought of you again. :)
Chinese (4th and 5th Period) : Had test. Really, really boring. Dozed off for 10 minutes. Period ended, thought of you. :)
Physics (6th Period) : Went through test paper, didn't do relatively well. Sadness overwhelmed. Thought of you and instantly smiled. :)
Chemistry (8th) : Went through pop quiz answers. LOL-ed most of the time. Keep popping into my mind. :)
E. Math (9th) : Rushed through questions. Circles were fun. :O Thought of you! :D
Values Ed (10th and 11th) : Went to library, enjoyed the air-conditioning very much. Getting closer to dismissal, so I thought of you. :))
Design and Technology (12th and 13th) : Last two periods. Had surprise test, everyone was talking. Once ended, was so close to school dismissal. Dreamt of you. :)









Can't stop thinking of anything BUT you. :)

Nothing much to post about. Lazy to post too. La la la la la. After school played some retarded Kung Fu game but was damn fun!!! Gui is so pro.







Boooooooooooooooooooring day.







You're the one.

Weee. I'm happy happy happy. :):) But I could be waaaay happier. Haha. Anyway, school, was BORING. Had SS Test. Not very confident about getting full marks but maybe I can pass? I'm not sure. First time I wrote so much in SS haha xD Darn it's already week 5 and 3 more weeks to examinations!!!! Nervous. NDPOC is this Saturday. Number 1 Uniform time haha. :P Will be the first time wearing. Nothing much to post about.





Bye!
Kanglun






I can't get your smile out of my mind. Can't get you outta my mind.

Hello people. 3rd time posting using LJ... Wow you can't even change the font... That sucks. I'm gonna create a new blog real soon and I hope the template doesn't give me any problems. I went out with my family, uncle & aunt and their friends to celebrate my aunt's birthday. Then came back. Um.. um.. um... No idea what else to write about... Oh well.









You've got a special power. The power to make my smile appear. :)

Okay. So I can't use blogger anymore. Why? Click on my blog's link and you'll see. So I'm gonna use LJ I'm gonna hate it but oh well. Now all I need is to put in a links section so I can start linking my friends. Screw blogger.